Hey, you, yes you, do you want to take your personal training brand to the next level? Stand out from the crowd at the 6 am outdoor workout session in Double Bay?
You’ve already got the Jeep Wrangler with the lift kit, ‘bars and graphics. But then so has every single one of you (we checked). We’re not really sure why. Do the huge wheels mean you have to really flex to turn a corner? Can you do dips on the giant bumpers? Well, my thick-necked friend, Californian customiser Rezvani has the answer for you.
Clearly designed after a monster, and Monster-fuelled, late-night Halo session, the Rezvani Tank takes the Jeep Wrangler to another level. And by that, we mean downwards. The result is what the company is calling an Xtreme (sic) Utility Vehicle that has been named ‘Tank’ because apparently it ‘embodies many of the same characteristics found on the military vehicle with the same name’. Apart from, well, all of them.
What the Rezvani Tank actually embodies is a vastly overpriced, rebodied Jeep Wrangler JK powered by a 6.4-litre Hemi V8 producing 370kW and 580Nm (OK, that bit we like) perfect for military wannabes whose self-confidence is intrinsically tied to the rock hardness of their abs. The press release even uses words like ‘chiselled’ and ‘defined’ to describe the styling. We prefer ‘try hard’, ‘thuggish’ and ‘contrived’.
Two optional off-road packages offer six-inches of body lift, 37-inch tyres and air lockers front and back for hopping over high Eastern Suburbs kerbs. Inside you get what looks like fairly standard Wrangler fixings covered in leather and suede plus a large infotainment screen and a Head-Up Display. You can get automatically opening and closing side doors and steps which could be useful for loading up those kettlebells.
And of course, you can specify Kevlar armour, underbody cladding, Mil-spec run flats and bulletproof glass for your Tank. Oh, and don’t forget the thermal night vision system, vital for those, erm, spec-ops midnight Tabatha missions we guess.
The Rezvani Tank starts at US$178,500 which is a lot of money to spend on showcasing your insecurities to the world but as it’s Wrangler-based, right-hand drive should be feasible.
You can observe the Rezvani Tank in more detail at their website.