Gentlemen, it is time to man up and delete Tinder. Usually, I am not in favour of this the term ‘man up’, but this is a special case. For too long have we retired our flirting and playful banter to the online arena, where we are safe behind a screen from the big bad monsters, ‘rejection’ and ‘embarrassment’. Well, I say no more! Here’s the why and how you need to once again start approaching strangers on the street, in the bars and cafes, and on your way to work. And any place that is suitable in between.
The Plight of the Online Age
Tinder is such a simple game, how to delete tinder, interestingly is not. Believe me when I say that yes, it is a game. Swipe right for yes, left for no and she will do likewise. You can even craft your online presence to make it look like you’re more of a big shot than you really are. What’s more is that you don’t even have to mention that you’re 5 foot 8 and haven’t been to the gym in months (the key is to use old pictures).
Apps like Tinder, or even ‘sliding into the DM’s’ on Instagram, are cheapening sociosexual relations and robbing us of the real thrill of dating. Studies even show that no real attraction can be established solely through pictures (I even wrote an article about it here). It’s time to put your cracked iPhone 5 down and venture out into the real world. She’s a risky game, but she’s a game worth playing.
Be Brave, Be Bold
But how? Magic tricks? Funny jokes? Medical emergencies? No. Just fucking do it. And then do it again. You will fail, and you will flail, and your failure will be glorious. Depending on a variety of factors such as confidence, fashion, and (regrettably) looks and height, you will be rejected or accepted. My favourite line?
“Hello. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you but you’re very pretty and I would hate to see this opportunity go by.”
It’s not even a line, it’s just honesty – a rare virtue these days. And most of the time they are so shocked that someone has actually approached rather than glare from a distance or instant message at three o’clock the next morning after hours of scouring the internet for a social media.
Remember ‘back in the old days’, when couples would say “oh, I saw her across the room and knew I simply had to have her in my life”? Neither do I. And I think that’s sad. But that sweet story can be your sweet story if you delete Tinder! However, if you want to stick to your delinquent hookups and awkward movie dates that are afforded to by Tinder then, by all means, stick to it. Just more wholesome opportunities for me. Good luck out there, gentlemen.